Last week I had a conversation with someone and what they said to me literally made my jaw drop. That conversation is what ended up inspiring me to write this post today. This person is a married adult in his mid 30’s and the conversation progressed from talking about how he wants kids of his own to taking about changing diapers. As soon as I said it he said that he doesn’t have to worry about changing diapers because his wife will be changing them all.
I tried telling him how that’s completely ignorant, unfair and just plain immature. His response was, and I quote: “I can’t deal with poop. I will end up puking all over the baby”. So, what, he can never be alone with his own child because he won’t change a diaper? I am sure his attitude will change if he ever becomes a parent himself, but frankly I hope he thinks long and hard before procreating – especially since this same person can barely take care of himself.
Being a parent is the hardest job there is and it’s not for the feint of heart. I was infuriated when I walked away from that conversation and as a result I compiled this list of other signs that someone might not be ready to have children of their own. In addition to not being able to deal with poop.
1. You cringe when you go out to eat and get seated at a table next to a family with small kids.
I’ve been on both sides of this scenario (hey, I was young and immature once upon a time), so I truly do understand how loud kids can get under someone’s skin. With that being said, I have also been that mom who had to take her child out of a restaurant and wait with him in the car until the rest of her family finished their meals. It’s one of those things that you don’t fully comprehend until you are a parent and find yourself in that situation. And if you think for one minute that it won’t happen to you – BWAHAHAHA!!!!!!
2. You don’t like to share your food.
Even though my kids are 8 & 11, I still have a tough time with this one. It’s no secret that I really, really love food and sometimes sharing it with my kids is hard. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been out with the kids and they don’t like their food, so I end up giving them mine. The struggle is real, guys, but you do it because your kids are more important than you are and they need to eat more than you do.
3. You think nothing of spending $150 on a pair of jeans.
Do you know how many diapers you can get for $150? I’m being serious. I used to drop crazy money on clothes, shoes and handbags – until I had kids. People always told me how expensive they were and they weren’t kidding. Having a baby is expensive and unless I hit the lottery, I have much more important things to spend my money on.
4. You don’t like people touching your stuff. Related, you like to have nice stuff.
Once you become a parent you have to be ready to say buh-bye to anything nice, or anything clean in your house, or in your life in general (including yourself some days). My kids have ruined everything I have. They rip stuff, stain stuff, draw on stuff – you name it and they will find a way to destroy it. My oldest thought it would be funny to flush a stick of my deodorant down the toilet one day when he was about 7 years old. $250 later…..
So, see what I mean?
5. You can never even imagine waking up before 7 am on any given day – especially a weekend.
I am lucky that my boys were both sleeping through the night by 9 or 10 weeks old. One of the benefits of formula feeding. But just because they sleep for an 8 hour stretch, it doesn’t mean that the stretch won’t come to an end at 5 am – which is exactly what happened in my case. For the last 11 1/2 years, I have been up by 5:30 am every day.
Every. Single. Day.
We have experimented with different bed times, but no matter what we did, he was still up at the crack of dawn every day. He still is. If you are not ready to give up your precious sleep for your kids, you are definitely not ready to have them.
6. You think that carrying two additional bags of random stuff with you every single time you leave the house is unnecessary.
It’s very necessary. Please trust me when I say that you don’t want to be out of the house without an extra change of clothes for you and baby, snacks, bottles, toys/entertainment, diapers, wipes, lotions and anything else you might need specific to your child. Trust me, being out & about nowhere near home without that one specific squeaky toy -the one that happens to be the only one that will make your baby stop crying is a nightmare scenario.
7. You care too much about what other people think.
Being a parent means that you have to have thick skin. I am not exaggerating when I say that EVERYONE will think they know whats best for your child and they will not hesitate to drop all kinds of unsolicited advice on you and point out everything you are doing wrong. Not only that, you will be judged time and time again for everything you do including, but not limited to how you dress your kids, how you show up at the school drop off, what you pack your kids for lunch, and god forbid if you choose to formula feed instead of breastfeed (and to this day I still get flack for my decision). So if you can’t deal with that – you are probably not ready to be a parent.
8. You decide to get a pet because the pet won’t cry all the time and won’t talk back to you.
This one is pretty self explanatory. You’re too immature to have a baby – and maybe even the pet because frankly, they require some work, too.
Do you have anything to add to the list?